There is no better place to practice yoga than on a plane. Now I don’t mean that everyone should roll out their mats and start doing downward dog in the aisle or chair pose while waiting for the bathroom. I’m talking about yoga as a state of mind.
How many times have you been forced to sit next to someone who completely disregarded the rules of the armrest? Or stepped into the bathroom a little too soon? Oh and let’s not forget being stuck on the runway for 2 hours with no air in the cabin. Sound familiar? In fact all of these things – and more – happened to me on my way to Los Angeles last week. Welcome to my “off the mat” challenge of the month!
The morning started out great: my fiancé and I got to the airport early, we were able to relocate to the exit row, and we even had time for breakfast. Is that Ice Cube playing in the background? Yes, it was starting out to be a good day! But just as we were beginning to enjoy our state of yin, yang reared its yogic head. It came in the form of an overweight person who had already begun to “make house” on my seat. I spotted her seven rows back and was secretly hoping that somehow I had miscounted the rows and rather than sitting next to her I was actually sitting behind her. Ahhhh… the seat behind her where a business man with headphones and a college student with a laptop were sitting. But no, I was sitting next to the overweight lady and her three overweight children. As I got closer to my seat she looked up at me and gave me a once over before standing from her seat and gathering her belongings. Did I miss the velvet rope? I thanked her as I squeezed my way into the middle seat. When I sat down I noticed that she had pulled up my armrest. Uh, last I checked those were my volume control buttons on that armrest!!
My blood started to boil.
I waited till she stood up to go to the bathroom before I moved the armrest back down. Then I covered my head with the blanket to pretend like I was sleeping. I thought for sure she would have caught the hint. But…NO! Once again the armrest was up and her thighs were touching mine! UM, what’s wrong with this person?! So there I sat stewing and sending out evil messages with my mind. Hoping she’d feel my vibes and apologize for unnecessary touching on the plane. When that didn’t work there was only one thing I could do, close my eyes, count my breath. Five seconds in, five seconds out; seven seconds in, seven seconds out; ten seconds in, ten seconds out. Once I got my mind under control I was able to get the situation under control. First, I ordered a headset, next I plugged it into the armrest and then finally I yanked that baby down and started fidgeting with the buttons. I think I took her by surprise because that arm rest acted as a girdle between my thighs and hers but, at this point, all I wanted was to have my sense of space. Once I found my perfect station, I planted my arm on that armrest and flashed a big smile her way. There was nothing she could say – I killed her with kindness and my yogic breath!!
Next challenge…ROAD RAGE.
